Riding the bench

Since I no longer want to commit to a raiding schedule, I have - justifiably so - been relegated to backup status.

What this means is if someone doesn't show up (and I am of the class needed to fill the spot) I'll get to raid. But for the most part I won't. This is fine because I understand consistency and reliability is the key component of raid progression, but takes some getting used to.

For instance a while back I read up on the strategies for a boss we were planning on attempting, I watched some movies from different points of view and as usual I spent time getting consumables ready. I logged on early and made my way to the instance. I jumped into vent and waited. After 30-45 minutes the raid was set and I wasn't in it. No huge surprise but now what?

I could leave my character parked at the instance, while listening in to vent on the chance they need me to sub in and as a reward for my time get dkp for leaving myself available. I was free to play an alt in the meantime.

After listening in as some new bosses were killed and I'm genuinely happy for the guild. But doing this a few times and not actually being a part of it quickly loses the scant bit of enthusiasm that exists in the first place. With each passing raid, to prepare and then end up storing away the unused preparations...I've started to feel like I'm working myself up for something only to be let down each time.

I've already lost interest in reading up on the next boss strategy. I'm not sure I'm going to make a good benchwarmer.