Here is something I posted in the guild's forum. Just wanted to save it here:
And because of this I am trying very hard to remember my "Lessons Learned".
1) Don't fixate on loot that require luck to get
2) Don't get hung up on loot (period)
Before I joined the guild, I raided with them the first night they decided to go out on their own (again?). I didn't know anything about dkp. I had never raided before in this game or any other. But of course, I soon learned about it. I checked the listing and I was waaaaay behind a bunch of raiders. These were the people who raided in the alliance. Rightly so, their dkp transferred over.
But as time went by, I raided, and I raided, and I raided. I raided by choice, I raided by request. Today, my total earned dkp while not at the top, rivals some of the original raiders in the alliance.
And there is the rub for me, somewhere along the line, I felt the time I had put in would be rewarded. Because somewhere along the line, raiding had become more about loot than fun.
I only really saved up dkp once in my "raiding career" and that was for a trinket. (I'll never forget that a guildie passed on bidding on it so that I could win it.) After that I tried to bid more often on things. But then I would see something I wanted would cost me say 50 dkp, while someone else could (and usually did) get it for less. I would have to compete against people's mains, and then would have to compete as they brought their alts in. I can't and don't fault anyone in particular, because this is how our system is.
But why was it such an issue for me? Well now I was "working" for loot (being a healer is tiring also, but that is for another thread and another time), it started being worth more than virtual loot should. I would get irritated to see someone show up out of the blue and win something, while I had been "working" so long, and because of dkp, because of randomness, because of luck, I'd lose. To see people join the guild, get a bunch of stuff, then leave was a slap in the face too.
That's why I mentioned loot costing the same amount for the people bidding on it. At least if someone shows up and wins something, it would cost him the same as it would me. And I posted that idea, but since I wasn't sure how to implement it - I couldn't explain exactly how it should work - and people like to debate alot which I quickly tire of, I let it slide.
But I have made a conscious decision to step back and realize it is just virtual stuff. I admire (and am a bit envious of) one of my guildmates because he shows up and has fun. If he gets slotted he's happy, if he doesn't - no skin off his nose. (At least it appears that way!)
Because what it boils down to is, after all this discussion, things still might not change to my liking (I'm not saying it should). And if it doesn't, at this point I still want to raid. I just don't want to be irritated when I do so.
For the first time in months, I've missed a bunch of raids and getting more sleep as a result (yay!). One of my good friends in the guild shares with me what dropped and I'm working on not cringing that I wasn't there to roll on it. When I get to raid again, I want to raid for fun - not loot. If I get a great item, hooray for me! If I don't, bring on the next boss!!!
Bitten off more than I can chew
16 hours ago